Monday, October 31, 2005

Halloween - my story

I'm sorry that you all couldn't make it to our Halloween party on Saturday night - we had a great time. I slipped into my Priestly robes (and my two foot high Bishops hat) and found out that I was actually married to Frank (the rabbit) from Donnie Darko.

Mia from Pulp Fiction was there complete with a 200ml hypodermic syringe sticking out of her chest. When she stopped at the Bottle Shop on the way, they apparently didn't notice the syringe which says more about our neighbourhood than Mia's outfit. Elle Driver also came with both the sword and the eye patch. After an hour or so, she had to flip the eye patch up because she couldn't judge how far away her drink was with only one eye and kept missing it when trying to pick it up.

The Grim Reaper came along as well although he did have to remove the skull face when my dog tried to bite him. Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy were both there and I think I've got a photo of them pashing in a dark corner.

We had two suicide bombers who weren't terribly effective as they got hammered and kept losing their TNT. Jammin' J came as the Bride of Dracula and after a few drinks her tulle headpiece got messed up and I kept referring to her as the Beekeeper from Hell.

Andre came as a demon but his mask was hot so he ended up wearing it on the back of his head. I started performing an exorcism on him but when I made the sign of the cross the wrong way he freaked out and thought I was putting demons in rather than casting them out.

Gomez and Morticia fitted in well with their demon offspring (dressed as a baby lion - how cute was that!). Our zombie, complete with blood, had fun although I believe she was disappointed that we didn't have brains on the menu and she had to make do with hommus.

The evil kiwi trinity (a witch, a movie star and a cricketer complete with removeable sideburns) seemed to enjoy themselves immensely and I was impressed that their accents remained thick all evening.

We also were joined by the perfectly matched evil biker and the ski instructor of doom (both of whom were oblivious to the lowering temperatures as the evening progressed).

It was a good night and nobody caught fire. You can't ask for better than that.

Oh - and here's a picture of Lucy after she borrowed Elle Drivers hair. It's unfortunate that they couldn't get the eye patch on too.

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Saturday, October 29, 2005

Book Review Goto

What have I been reading? Go and have a look at our embryonic discussion group - Bibliophagists Anonymous.
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Friday, October 28, 2005

So, LG, how do I know if I am possessed by a demon?

Well, I'm glad you asked. There are several ways that you can tell that are suffering from possession by a demon.

- Can you suddenly speak or understand languages that they haven’t previously known?
- Can you predict the future or do you know things that you shouldn't?
- Do you have abnormal physical strength?
- Has there been a sudden change in your character to display hatred of all things sacred?
- Are you suffering from depression or melancholy and suicidal tendencies?
- Have you started to blaspheme or request the devil’s assistance when in a uncontrollable rage?
- Are you vomiting knives, keys, pins and needles or other objects ?

By the Middle Ages, this list of symptoms had grown to include speaking gibberish, suffering contortions or seizures, mania, lunacy and gynaecological irregularities.

In more recent times, for the Evangelical and Charismatic movements especially, the list of symptoms of demonic possession has increased again to include feeling “out of sorts” and feeling behavioural urges of non-Christian nature eg. Suicidal impulses or impulses to engage in sins of the flesh.

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

I amuse myself no end

My mum brought me back some lovely chocolates from Harrods in London. Evidence that I can use my advanced english language skills for my own entertainment. Futher evidence unavailable as I have eaten aforementioned evidence.

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Monday, October 24, 2005

Why my feet hurt

Jammin' J (aka The Gorgeous Tall One) has been mine (I know, but "mine" sounds cooler than "my") friend for a very long time. Well, a medium length of time that seems long because I am feeling very youthful today, but I digress. Actually, I think I'm fibbing rather than digressing because I'm not feeling that youthful, really, as my feet hurt. And why do my feet hurt you ask? Because, and back to Jammin' J, we went to a wedding on the weekend. We caught up a group of friends that I haven't seen in a while and we had a wonderful time.

Yes, it was much fun. Except for the dancing. And not ordinary dancing mind you, there was Macedonian dancing. And I really need to get in here first as Jammin' J will deny it outright - but she sucks at Macedonian dancing - and I now have bruises all over my feet from her stepping on them. Those bruises had absolutely nothing to do with the vast quantities of excellent champagne that were being quaffed and everything to do with Jammin' J trying to squash me like a bug.

So you heard it here first folks. Remember, step one, two, three, kick left, kick right, step one, two, three, kick left, kick right, step one, two, three ........

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

How cool am I?

I wandered over to see what Invisible Lizard has been up to and have discovered that I am officially now cooler than Steve Irwin. Which is really saying something because I know how much you guys dig Steve Irwin.

And if any of you are keen to get a copy of the CD - just send me an email (except Herge because I still haven't posted yours yet).

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

My life as an insular procrastinator and all-star layabout

You know - I used to be a fun person. I went fun places, did fun stuff and then I told you all about them. Now I do nothing. There are two main reasons for this.

The first is that it turns out that I have low iron levels and I am also anaemic. And have been for months. So I'm on a strict diet of iron tablets for at least three months. Hopefully I'll be fully perked up soon.

The second is that I am feeling rather anxious about uni at the moment. I have only three and a half weeks left until my final essay is due and I'm feeling unreasonably stressed about it all. It's all a bit silly really, I mean, this semester is no different to the end of any other semester but I still am feeling worried.

So my mind isn't really wandering around aimlessly the way it usually does. On the positive side, one of the essays that I'm working on is about exorcisms so I'll have fun stuff to share soon!

Canasta Scores - October 2005

Laziest Girl ("Crazy Legs" is my BreakDancin' name ya know) wins by a smidgeon.

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Monday, October 17, 2005


Good Morning, and welcome to Laziest Girl. I am your host for this morning, Laziest Girl. On your left you will see my most recent posts and on your right you will see my user profile and my archived posts. Your emergency exit is in the top right corner - in case of emergency just click Next Blog.

Oh, and if any of you lovely visitors are from Norway could you please explain why I have had five (that's 5) different Norwegian visitors in the last six days when no one from Norway has ever visited in the last twelve months? Just curious.

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Knowledge is pouring in right now. Well, maybe pouring around is more accurate.

Good news on the uni front - only three pieces of assessment left to go. I got back my essay for Hinduism and, I'm pleased to say that, I got 18 out of 20. So if you have any lingering questions about the origin of the Hindu caste system, fire away.

I've also started listening to Bill Brysons "A Short History of Nearly Everything". I'm a bit freaked out by it all to be truthful. I'm now wishing for the darkness of ignorance to surround me once more. So far I've heard about the big bang (well, the singularity thing) and the solar system and I think I've got most of it. But I'm not sure how much more of this detail I can take - do you guys want to place a bet on how long it will be until I either self-destruct or put the cd's in the microwave for 4 minutes on high?

I'll try to restrain myself my bombarding you with facts about the number of moons in the solar system etc.

Monday, October 10, 2005

I so do not have an accent.

In case you haven't been keeping up with CK, he recently has been doing some stuff at the Odeo Studio. So head over, have a listen - then email him and tell he sounds weird. Because he doesn't believe me.

Oh, and the content is good too - here it is here. I'm right proud of you.

Saturday, October 08, 2005

And I had promised not to speak of him of again. Still, a picture is worth a thousand words and I bet you know what I'd like to say.
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Friday, October 07, 2005

Not a Happy Camper

That's right folks, I am not a happy camper. What madness is this, you ask? Yesterday the temperature was 33 degrees (that's celcius) and do you think our air conditioning was working? Let me help you out here - IT WASN'T. No, the bastard of a thing has been out since Tuesday and it is not expected to be working until next week. Today the temperature is meant to be 34 degrees.

It isn't so much the heat that is the killer, but the humidity. I have not blow dried my hair since Monday because there is no point - it goes frizzy by lunchtime. Do you have any idea how repellent this is to me?

Clearly the time has come for me to do something - I must end this insanity.

I think I'll try opening the window to start with.

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Quick Sand and the people who live on the very fringes of society

Don't these people watch Mythbusters?

Monday, October 03, 2005

Pastéis de Nata (or Portuguese Custard Tarts)

As you all know, Handsomest Husband comes from a Portuguese background, and frankly, the best thing about being invited to eat in a Portuguese household is the pasteis de nata (suprisingly, I don't consider the salted cod to be the countries best culinary delight). The best description I can give you is that they are little pastry cups with a custard filling. However this doesn't really explain their addictive nature. They are the most delicious things I've ever eaten.

As it is my birthday on Tuesday, Handsomests Mater prepared a dozen pasteis de nata for a special morning tea at work. In fact, I have them in my very possession right now. And I've got to say that the lure of just eating every single one of them is pretty strong. The only thing stopping me is that I'm scared of morphing into an Australian Augustus Gloop.


I had a very strange dream the other night. I dreamt that I was shopping with my mum and my aunt and we found this enormous shop with a huge display of perfume out the front. We all looked at each other and said "ooooh, perfume". I then thought to myself - "how amusing, I'll have to blog that". We went into the store and I realised that I was wearing only one of my shoes and that I had the other one tucked under my arm and was carring it. I then got rather distressed because I couldn't find the Estee Lauder counter.

It was very odd.