Thursday, March 30, 2006

Laziest Girl Reporter

Good Evening, and welcome to the up to the minute and right on the button blog of Laziest Girl. Today we are coming to you direct from Changi Airport in Singapore.

I know, I know, you don't hear from me for fecking weeks and now all of a sudden I'm just bursting to write?? Well, I am in Singapore for three hours and they have free internet access - how much more explanation do you people need!

So, I've left Brisbane and am now well on my way to Japan. It all still feels a bit surreal but thankfully the crying has mostly stopped. Did I mentioned that I cried while watching the Brady Bunch early in the week (the episode where Marsha nominates Mike as Father of the Year in case you were wondering). Honestly, it's getting pretty bad. At this rate I'll be a shrivelled up, dehydrated old prune by the time I get to Narita.

Anyway, thinking of you all.

Monday, March 20, 2006

Melbourne - a summary

Melbourne is fun but it's a bit cold.

On Friday night we ate Nepalese food. On Saturday we ate Japanese food. Last night we ate pub food (which is a whole cuisine type of its own).

I bought a new camera (so expect pics soon), a new pair of black boots, two pairs of jeans and a pair of cute black shoes.

We went shopping (obviously), drank coffee, went on a tram, drank sake, ate so much sashimi that I thought I was going to burst. We went to a snazzy cocktail bar, we gave money to a homeless person, we went to the zoo. We drank tea, we made friends with two boxer dogs, we caught numerous taxis. We asked for directions, we went to a shoe shop or two (actually about 17), we saw a pelican, we wore jackets, we ate corn chips.

Thursday, March 16, 2006

Oh, and I met a boy

Yep, I've gone and got myself a brand new boyfriend (listen to "The Mountain Goats" for that reference**). He doesn't have a suitable blog name yet, but I like him and might just refer to him as The Boyfriend in future posts. In fact, he took me to see Brokeback Mountain on Valentine's day. I know, I know, most girls get flowers and chocolates and I get a gay cowboy film.

Nor did I actually expect to find myself a boy what with departing for Japan in less than two weeks. But, I guess sometimes things don't happen the way you expect.

So now you know.

** Not that listening to the Mountain Goats would actually help because Art Brut did the song. It's called Good Weekend and makes me laugh - in a good way (not in a "my god, do they have the nerve to call it a song then" way).

Laziest still on holiday - but now from another city!

That's right folks, I'm packing up the movable feast that is the life of Laziest Girl and going to Melbourne on the big aeroplane. Why am I off to Melbourne? Well, I've never been there and in two weeks I'm off to Japan. And Melbourne has great shopping and a girl can never have too many shoes, but trust me, that's only a secondary reason. A happy coincidence you might say.

So tomorrow morning, think of me winging my way to the best shoe shops in the country. Oh, and don't forget the Commonwealth Games Laziest! That's right, who else would arrange a glorified shopping trip the weekend smack in the middle of the fecking Commonwealth Games and not even realise it until today? (That was a rhetorical question by the way). So now the city will be full of bloody tourists. Yes, technically I'm a tourist, but I'm only there for the shoes so it's ok.

Monday, March 13, 2006

Resolution for today

To use the word "foibles" more in general conversation.

Sunday, March 12, 2006

Much cash spent (very quickly indeed)

My new laptop arrives on Tuesday morning and I'm pretty excited about it. Now I'll have no excuse to slack off the blog thang. Also spent more cash and now possess a snazzy new ipod. Parted with an extra $130 and have a car charger/fm transmitter. Much more fun than flicking through the stations. Only thing left to get is a new digital camera as I didn't get custody of the other one.

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Woo hoo!

So yesterday I bought my ticket to Japan. I also forked out a small fortune on travel insurance - including the extra for asthma sufferers and snowboarding. I mean, let's face it, if anyone is going to get hit by a bus or fall off the side of a damn mountain, it will be me. For sure.

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

How to make a Kiwi-fruit Two Forty-four

A Kiwi-fruit
Two parts sugar syrup
Four parts soda water
Four parts vodka

Blitz ingredigents in blender until ice is frappe consistency, then drink (but use a glass, it's much classier).

Tip for young players: if the situation is desperate - use five parts vodka and just call it a Two Forty-five.

Friday, March 03, 2006

It's all down hill

Threats have been made against me people. Terrible, terrible threats. Threats of not being allowed to watch the news if I continue to shout at the television and call the politians wankers and fecking idjits. Unfortunately it appears that my shouting at the telly behaviour is only getting worse.

Yesterday I found myself shouting at the telly while watching Melrose Place (honestly, Michael is such an idiot and that Sidney is a complete slapper). "Billy, you spineless idiot, get away from Amanda - she's just using you" and "Jake, you look like a telly tubby - stop trying to do smouldering looks".

And even worse, it's invading my dreams. I dreamt that I had a new boyfriend named Hanlon (feck knows why) who looked like Jake from Melrose Place. I got very cross because he looked like Jake from Melrose Place. Why can't I have imaginery, dream boyfriends who look like John Cusack?

I seriously need to get out more.