Mondegren du Jour

"and there was this lady, she was oppressed with a plant in Thailand".

Driving this afternoon with two of Buster's nieces in the back of the car (two of the triplets) when they started rattling on about their favourite tv shows which included some medical emergency show that I've never seen. Laura was explaining the most recent episode when I misheard her. Apparently the lady actually had breast implants in Thailand which ended in some non-specific disaster.

Hot tips ...

Here are a few tips for the new parent:

Invest in a couple of pairs of really nice pyjamas because you will be wearing them until around 2pm every day;

Everytime you tell people that the baby is very good and hardly ever cries, he will promptly start screaming and sobbing inconsolably;

Don't prepare meals that can't be reheated successfully - the baby will ALWAYS wake up the minute your meal is ready; and

Everytime the phone rings, the baby will wake up and start crying thus causing your mother to believe that you spend all day pinching the baby to make him cry.

I am seriously loving ...

I am seriously loving Doctor Who at the moment. Have you actually watched it? It's fantastic. Well, what are you hanging around here for? Go and watch it damn you.

Verbatim

LG: Buster, roll over, you're snoring.

B: Yes.

pause

LG: Buster, come on, roll over, you're snoring.

B: Yes.

Buster receives an elbow in the ribs

LG: Buster, you are still snoring. Roll onto your stomach.

B: I am.

LG: You are not, you're lying on your side.

B: Yes.

LG: Buster, you haven't rolled over.

B: I have.

LG: No, you haven't. Roll over.

B: I did.

LG: No, you haven't.

Buster receives another sharp elbow to the ribs

Enlarge your possibilities

Whenever we go into town, we drive past a big billboard for a private school somewhere in Brisbane. It has a big picture of a bunch of kids sitting and working studiously over their books while a teacher leans over them apparently helping them with their work. And it has the most stupid advertising catch phrase ever.

"Enlarge your possibilities"

This is clearly the most stupid thing I've ever read. You can't enlarge your possibilities. Possibilities are finite things, they can't just be bigger. You can increase the number of possibilities, but you can't enlarge them. Idiots.

I'm really going to be encourage to send my child to your school by your stupid sign that doesn't make any sense. It drives me crazy - every time we go past the sign - it brings on the tirade.