A day in the life of the unemployable

You know, now that I am on holidays (or technically speaking "unemployed") until the first of April, I thought that I would have loads of time to blog. I could keep you all well entertained with my witty and pithy observations and amuse you all endlessly with my unique-ness. Instead, my brain has turned into a big, fat marshmallow and all I do is lie around watching tv and reading books that I've already read ten times.

This morning, for instance, I got up at 7.30am. I ate three weetbix and a banana smoothie for breakfast. I had a shower, got dressed then lay on the couch watching a cooking show. I've just finished a nice cup of tea and when I've finished here, I might go and have a nap. I'm also re-reading a novel by Nicole Mones about chinese porcelain. I'm going to see the Acuphysio after lunch and I'm making Thai Green Chicken Curry for dinner. After dinner, I'll probably watch Mythbusters, then eat some chocolate and go to bed absolutely exhausted from my busy, jam-packed day.

Relaxing is so damn tiring.

The demon-spawn fake cat

On Friday I looked after my four year old niece for my sister. Now I love her dearly (and she is my goddaughter as well as my niece) but she is hard work. Things were going very well until she started to get a bit tired and whiny. Then we had a slight disagreement about the ice blocks in the freezer. Ok, by a slight disagreement, I probably need to clarify that I mean that I said no, and she sooked and whined about it. For fecks sake, I'm not just being mean, it was 9:30 in the morning folks.

Anyway, her other grandmother lives in Sydney and doesn't see her that often but had sent up some stuff for her. Amongst this pile of loot was a toy cat in a cardboard cat carrier. Not just a stuffed toy cat, but a life like cat that wakes up when you pat it. It blinks it's eyes, it meows and purrs at random. In other words, my niece is now in possession of a cat that looks like it escaped from the pages of an old Stephen King novel. This was compounded when she talk the demon-spawn fake cat to day care and it got all dirty. Honestly, this damn thing like it clawed its way right out of the fecking grave after resurrection.

I kept waiting for it to look right at me, blink slowy and suggest, in a gravelly voice, that perhaps if I skinned a goat and ate a frogs heart while chanting in a graveyard after midnight on a moonless night, that my life would be soooo much more interesting.

This blog makes me glad ...

It makes me glad that I called it Laziest Girl. Now I don't feel guilty for being such a slack arse.

Actually, that's not true. I do feel a little guilty.

So I've finished my course and I have my temporary certificate in hand (real certificate has to come from Cambridge University and takes three months!). I had a job interview on Thursday for a job teaching at a private English college. Interview went well, but as is the norm, they tend to offer either a short term contract (which would suit me) or relief work. He didn't have any positions available but has added by name to the relief list so I'll get called when someone comes down with the plague. Which actually is terrifying because you don't get any prep time, you don't know what you are teaching and you need to walk in and teach for five hours. He asked if I found that idea scary. Idiot. Of course - it's fecking terrifying. I think I'll ring him and tell him to take my name off the list. Really, it's just too hard and I don't actually need the experience as I already have a job in Japan.

I was going to go to Vietnam and Cambodia for a few weeks but I don't think that the LG Exchequer will allow this. It will be easier to just go back to temp admin work to earn some dosh. And I won't have to think about it. Also on the positive side, it will give me much blogging material.