So I'm still Lazy but now I feel kinda clever too.

As you all know, I have been absolutely dreading my uni results this semester. I was pretty motivated at the beginning of semester but by the end, as per usual, I was down to care factor nil. So for the last few days I have had the roiling stomach of anxiety and I've felt like a crack-addicted Rhesus monkey whose dealer has gone to ground.

But finally, results have been released. And the news is excellent. This little bright spark got 6's for both her subjects (and we all remember that a 7 is the highest mark you can get, don't we?).

So, roll on graduation.

A week is a very long time

So what have I been doing for the last week? Well, I've decided to make some very serious changes to my life.

Handsomest and I have separated and I've quit my job. I'm planning to do a course in January to learn to teach English as a second language and I am hoping to go to Japan in March.

I can't even begin to explain to you all why I need to do this. I just do.

Changes at the day job

I don't know if you all know how much I hate my job. I've tried not to blog too much about the day job because it is just sucking the life right out of me. My boss, who we call Sybil (of multiple personality infamy), is just awful (and because I refer to her as Sybil when speaking about her, Jas actually thought that was her real name).

The good news is that I've been offered a three week secondment at another government department. I start on Tuesday and this means I won't be back at my real day job until the New Year.

So this week will be spent lunching and shredding stuff. Only a few more days to go!

Here is a dentist but we can not reveal his name

I went to the dentist yesterday for the first time in over two years. I don't like going to the dentist. I only went because my mother made me. Here I am, 33 years old, and my mother is making me go to the dentist. Yet more evidence that I am in desperate need of therapy.

Anyway, it wasn't so bad. Well, it wasn't as bad as I feared. He was nice (for a dentist). He didn't get mad when I told him I didn't floss, wasn't planning on starting to floss and I wasn't going to lie and say that I would floss. You hear that? I don't floss. He said that if, after I brush my teeth, I started rinsing my mouth with mouthwash, that this was nearly as good as flossing.

Oh my god. Stop the presses. All this time I've been thinking that if I don't floss I might as well be murdering small children in some forgotten African country and he tells me that it's ok not to floss. Again - it's ok not to floss.

Can the world of dentistry handle such revelations? I know now that I can never reveal his name or the evil minions of dentistry will hunt him down and make it look like an accident. He's revealed the sacred truth about flossing hereby ending a conspiracy that we have never even suspected exisited.

Samsara

In the Kaushitaki Upanishad, the souls of the dead ascend to the moon which is the door to heaven. There they are questioned as to their identity. If they fail to realise their identity with Braham, then they are condemned to further existence in the form of their karma - be it man or animal. If their soul gives the right answer, then it proceeds to the river "Ageless" where it shakes off its good and evil karma "as a horse shakes off its hairs".

How fucking depressing.

That other damned cat

Oh, and here's a picture of Fiver looking pissed off. This isn't "that damned cat", this is "that other damned cat".


 

Things draw to a close - much to my barely supressed terror

Well nothing much is happening here at the moment. I've got one essay still due and I am seriously dragging my arse about writing the damn thing. Once I hand it in, I have no more uni. I don't think I'm ready to graduate. I'm feeling a little panicky about it all. I've been writing job applications and I'm frankly terrified. What if I get a new job but find out that I suck at it? It's all rather worrying actually.

But on the bright side, we are going to see a couple of my favourite bands on Friday night - Halfday and Love Lies Bleeding (please don't mention the thing about the passing resemblence to Kevin Bacon - I'm trying to move on). I'm really looking forward to it actually. Although Becc-with-two-c's has promised me that she will be abstaining from tequila which is somewhat disappointing.

Also Venerable has invited us girls to his house for a sleep over on the 26th. We hereby swear to eat too much, drink too much and watch terrible movies before falling asleep on the lounge room floor. To get an invitation to this exclusive occassion, I had promise to share my bottle of vanilla vodka. The only potential problem I can see is that only Jammin' J has hair long enough to braid - and it's only just long enough. I guess I could take the Springer Spaniel, she's pretty furry.

Appleseed and Vietnamese dinners

On Friday night we all traipsed along to the Brisbane Anime Festival (or whatever they are calling it) to see a film called Appleseed. And I really enjoyed it. So the dialogue was George Lucas inspired - so the plot was needlessly complicated - so most of the audience were single men aged between 17 and 25 - so the characters all had stupid names - it didn't matter in the slightest. This was the first anime that I've ever seen at the cinema (not including Spirited Away because I'm not sure if that counts as anime??) and it was a great experience. Like I said, it wasn't the best film in the world, but I didn't begrudge it as 90 minutes I'll never see again.

After the film, we went to a tiny vietnamese hole-in-the-wall for dinner. I felt very cosmopolitan as we had to wait for 10 minutes outside before they could fit us in. Inside, they had pulled two tables together for us to sit at. Andre squished himself in the seat between the wall and the table and then declined to exchange places with me although I would have fitted more easily in the confined space. When he finally managed to fold his legs under the table, I pulled out the chair next to him and tried to sit down. Unfortunately, as everyone else was already seated, there was no room under the table for my legs. Eventually Andre resorted grabbing my ankles and forcing them half under his chair. And the fun didn't stop there. As I tried to lay my napkin in my lap I nearly gouged out Becc-with-two-c's eye with my chopsticks. Thankfully the food was excellent enough to make the cramped conditions bearable.

And then Jammin' J dragged us off to Pancakes where we stuffed ourselves to bursting. Next time you visit me here in BrisVegas, we can go there if you like. I'd recommend the blueberry pancakes or the short stack as the blackforest cherry pancakes are too dry.

Forgive me

You know, I've got a confession to make. It's hard for me to just come out and say it, but I'll do my best. This blog is a edited series of events based on my true life. That's right - it's edited. Which I know is a bit of a hard blow for you all to bear. There you were thinking that every part of my life was on this blog. But it's just not true. Once you turn off your computer, I'm still here (although I'm probably sleeping). While you are lying in bed at night with the heating on, I'm slaving away at work in our lacklustre air conditioning.

At this point I need to shout out a big hi to Cara and James in Edinburgh (or Germany maybe?). Apparently they were quite disappointed that the tale of the night of carnage with Jagermeister did not make the blog. But that's just it you see - I get to choose what goes here and what stories make it. When I'm found dead in a bedsit with 15 cats, then, and only then, can these true stories come out. And, just for the record, I totally blame Jas for the series of events that unfolded over that evening.

In conclusion, I like to think of this blog as being my own little kingdom and myself as the happy-go-lucky, benevolent dictator. Handsomest, if you are reading this, I seriously need some more shoes as is befitting to my status.