Child rearing (near) disasters

So, Wednesday morning turns up as usual but I've picked up a nasty cold (cue coughing fit).The MonkeyFish has emptied the entire Lego box over the floor so I tell him that if he picks up all the Lego on his own, he can watch Finding Nemo (or Memo as he refers to it). I figure this will save me picking up the Lego and buy me 90 minutes of quiet time to get in with the washing etc while we are all stuck inside on a rainy day. The MonkeyFish picks up the Lego and settles in to watch the movie.

All goes well and when the movie ends he's fine. I make some sandwiches and then it starts. Mummy, you be the pelican and I'll be the seagull. Mine, mine, mine.

Endlessly. All day. And all day again today. Finally at 5pm, I've had it. MonkeyFish, that's enough, please stop being a seagull. Mine. No, really, no more. Mine, mine. MonkeyFish, I've asked you to stop, I'm not asking again. Mine, mine, mine. If you don't stop, you can go to your room for two minutes. Mine. Right. Bedroom. Now. Noooooooooooo. Yes, for two minutes and I don't want to hear anymore mine *drags child up hallway*. Put him in his room and turn to walk out when a little voice, barely audible says 'mine'.

I bolt from the room in near hysterics with tears tolling down my cheeks trying desperately to not let him see that I'm laughing.

Too long for twitter

*imagining conversation* I know, let's get LG to prepare the contracts, what with her tenuous grasp of legalese, and her attention to detail rating in the negatives, she's the perfect choice to draft up these overly complex and yet legally binding documents.