Friday, June 03, 2005

Inspector Rex vs. Bronksi and Bernstein

Taking a tip from CK (, I wanted to talk to you about tv. While I don't watch a lot of tv, I am passionately addicted to two shows (well, three if I'm not too tired) - they are MythBusters, John Safran Vs. God (if I'm still awake) and Inspector Rex.

Because Inspector Rex is on a Thursday night, and this is Friday, I though I'd tell you about Inspector Rex. This is a cop show set in Vienna and the main detective guy (Moser) has a police dog called Rex. It's in German and comes complete with subtitles. Together they solve complicated homicides and Rex always saves the day. The women in the show are usually trashy-looking blondes and the men all resemble Russian mafia bosses. The show is essentially a family viewing show, but sometimes it gets a bit violent. One episode was about a guy who murders old ladies and they showed the guy bludgeoning the old lady to death and then dragging her across the floor and shoving her in a cardboard box. I thought it was pretty graphic for a family show. Anyway, last night I was disappointed because my brillian blogging plan had gone astray. Inspector Rex has finished for the season.

However, Inspector Rex has been replaced by Bronski and Bernstein, another subtitled cop show but filmed in Hamburg. Needless to say, they don't have dog to help solve the crime. The premise is that the dependable detective Wolfgang Bronski is partnered up with the son of the Police Commissioner, the spoiled law school-dropout, Guido Bernstein who wants to work as a dectective (against his fathers wishes). Of course the boss is a cranky guy who brooks no lip or misbehaviour and has a brand new BMW.

So you can see where this is going. It's a bit like 21 Jump Street but not as cool. But the thing that was strangest was that they had been up most of the night chasing down leads and questioning prositutes (Olga the Volga - is this a joke that I missed - I mean, I get Olga the Vulgar but how would a non-english speaking audience get that as a joke??). So, anyway, Bernstein tells Bronski that he might as well spend the night at his uber-cool (or just a bit odd-looking) apartment and they'll get up early to catch the murderer. So, they pull the cushions off the couch and it cuts to morning.

Bronski (the hardworking serious one) is lying on the couch covered to the waist with a blanket. Bronstein (the handsome rich and implusive one) is lying on the floor in much the same position. Off course they have both stripped down to their shorts and are exposing as much muscular upper body as possible in the timeslot. From the angle of the camera, it looks like they are sleeping side by side. Hey, and I'm ok with that, but homo-erotic semi-nudity was not what I was expecting. My thoughts were racing - had I missed the clues that they were gay and interested in more than just a regular workmate relationship?

I was then distracted from the show by the arrival of a cup of tea (thank you Handsomest) so when I look at the tv again, they are both running in circles trying to get dressed. Lucky for Bronski, Bernstein offers him the use of spare airline toiletries located in the bathroon. So Bronski wanders into the bathroom and interupts a man and a woman in the bath. Apparently this is Bernstein's girlfriend, Carola, and her agent and Bernstein doesn't mind a bit that they are both obsessed with personal hygiene.

Anyway, it turns out that they are not German tv's new realistic gay couple (a la Will and Grace) and they go off and solve the crime which involved snake venom smuggling of all things. Having deflowered the bosses new car, concealed a corpse in the boot, and solved the crime, they are bawled out by the cranky boss. The show ends with Bronski being coerced into jumping to Bernsteins Porshe (which is actually belongs to his girlfriend - the very clean Carola) and driving off into the sunset.

Ok, so it's not brilliant tv drama (or comedy) but I think I could get attached to it.


Blogger Craig said...

Now, I'm very jealous that we can't get any interesting German television shows here. Anytime there is a good show in another country, we have to wait for one of our networks to produce a very bad Americanized version.

8:53 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

OMg i just left a comment on a more recent one but then i read that and i wanna say THANKYOU! you're the first person to tell me in detail what happened in the 1st episode of B&b! YOU ROCK! You'll probably never read this comment, but who cares. its funny, you sound anoyed they replaced rex which is what i was, but then i fell for them completely.... *SIGH*
bye bye

5:35 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

woohoo :)
i love germans :)
too bad i work thursday nights and never got to watch inspector rex...
unfortunately. apparently. theres only one season of bronski n bernstein :( oh well
enjoy it while it lasts !!!

9:21 pm  

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