Monday, June 06, 2005

Rules for living - by the Laziest Girl

1. When you watch an english language dvd - the english subtitles must always be turned on. This way the Laziest Girls doesn't have to bother listening to the dialogue - she can just read it.

2. When you eat dinner, where ever you might be (eg. an elderly relatives), the cutlery must always be arranged so that the Laziest Girl has a matching set or she cannot eat her dinner.

3. When hanging out the washing, the pegs on an item of clothing must be of the same colour ie. two blue pegs on a shirt, or terrible things will happen.

4. If you use the toaster before the Laziest Girl, you may not adjust the browness setting on said toaster, even if your toast catches fire. It will be necessary to watch it until it begins to smoke, at which point you may pop it up.

5. If you choose to talk about the Da Vinci Code, don't expect the Laziest Girl to reply politely.

6. You can never put rice and potatoes on the same plate, or terrible things will happen.

7. If the Laziest Girl says a book is crap - believe her - she has read more books than you.

8. If you are going out in public with the Laziest Girl, you may never wear a black belt with brown shoes. You will be sent home to change.

9. If the Laziest Girl says that the singer in a band vaguely resembles Kevin Bacon, then vaguely is the operative word.

10. If shoes are left where they are taken off (be that under the coffee table, in the bathroom, under the desk, in the hallway) is not annoying, it is post modern.


Blogger Craig said...

Regarding rules 2, 3, 4 and 6, I have three letters for you: O, C and D.

10:37 am  
Blogger Blandwagon said...

2,5,6,7,8,9,10 - Amen, sister!

1,3,4 - Seek help.

So, I whole-heartedly endorse roughly two thirds of your lifestyle. Either you have three issues to work out or I am two thirds insane.

12:07 pm  
Blogger L said...

#5 -- I completely agree! I can't STAND that book.

6,7,8,10 -- all good rules to live by, of course

2:46 pm  

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