Gardening at Casa Laziest

In the garden bed that runs along our driveway and separates our garden from George next doors, are three ugly and overgrown palm-type, multi-trunk plants. They, as is the nature of palm-type plants, are scrappy looking and shed fronds with frightening regularity. Not do they look ugly and make a mess, but they are also possessed by demons.

If, perchance, you decide to leave the car in the driveway instead of driving it into the garage, perhaps because you are going out again later and definitely not because you always stall the car when you try to drive it into the garage, they seem to lurk closer in a dense and intimidating manner. The driver can safely exit the vehicle, but if you try to get out the passenger side, you are smothered by their frondy-fingers which are very poky. Trying to get the baby out of his safety seat, fend off the fronds and then close the car door without allowing any palm fronds to take up residence within the car is no mean feat.

So today I saw George and tried to ascertain who is the actual owner of the Palms of Doom. George wanted to know why, so I outlined my long term plan for the future, which involves ripping all the palms out and planting Lillie Pillies. George, in an attempt to understand my motives, asked why I wanted to get rid of the Palms of Doom. I outlined my reasons, and George, while baffled by all my outlining, remained a true gentlemen and offered to prune back the offending fronds. "Why, thank you George", I said and went back inside to tell Buster. Several minutes later, I was roused by the sound of a chainsaw and went back out the front to find George "pruning" not just the offending fronds, but the offending trunks of the Palms of Doom, at ground level.

So he's exorcised about five trunks, which has made a tremendous difference to the state of the driveway. Let that be a lesson to the rest of you evil, frondy palms out there. Don't mess with a Russian with a chainsaw.